manageable part II

Tonight I ran to the grocery store quick without any children with me.

While I was picking up milk, marshmallows, hot dog buns and hair clips, I saw the mom of some kids at Priya's school. Actually she and her husband have 10 kids.

She asked if Priya was ready for school. Her second-grade daughter will be in Priya's classroom this year. Then I asked her if her kids were ready for school. After all, that is the bigger question. I have one to get ready each day. At least six of her are in school.

They were ready for school, except for a few paint shirts that were misplaced, she said.

I commended her for being able to get her crew ready. I only have four, while she has 10. Ten.

She went on: "We're a highly dysfunctional family. When we all get somewhere, it's only by the grace of God."

I laughed and just about cried. How refreshing, in a world where everyone has their little formulas and techniques and perfectly planned out child rearing practices found on page such-and-so of so-and-so's excellent guide, to find someone secure enough to realize that as a mom she doesn't have everything figured out and isn't completely in control all the time.

Now I would suspect she is being extremely modest because with that many children, I'm sure she has a few systems figured out for things. And for sure she has a generous store of grace and patience to make things work.

Here's my opinion on families of more than 1.7: when you have one or two children, you feel like you can manage. one swell stroller with room for a large fun diaper bag stocked with everything one child needs for a few hours, one can be ushered into potty-trainedness before his or her sibling comes along, two fun name brand water bottles are purchased to make it fair for both children. One parent has two hands and a shopping cart can hold one or two children.

Then there's three or four or five or 10. The strategy changes. It's about sharing and improvising. One large fun diaper bag still works for more than one or two children. There just aren't color coordinated snack bags and $15 water bottles in it. Two children can safely (sort of) ride on a one seater running stroller. And sometimes three children wear diapers all at once in some degree or another, since they weren't spaced exactly 38 months apart.

This is by no means making compensation for mass disorganization or filthy living conditions. But we Westerners get so used to everything being manageable and tidy, fit snugly into a brightly colored box. So many people are about "thinking outside the box" in some regards while methodically organizing other parts of their lives in a way they think they can control.

Perhaps I just have wild-card children, but they don't always nap when I wish they would, some trick I thought really worked last time to get some good kind of behavior completely flops this time and the constant trips to the bathroom remind me that I'm not really in control. Someone is however and He is the one who constructed each part of them.